blog.lamariposapress.com

Happy Holidays 2007

La Mariposa Press — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:49:55 GMT

Christmas is just ten days away and this will be my 74th Christmas. That's a lot! The real reason for this Hoilday seems to be lost in the comerical aspects of giving and getting presents. I am sad at the orgy of my grandchildern opening gifts for hours. They don't GIVE any gifts just GET as if they are entitled to get all they can get. What kind of values are we teaching them? What are the long term ramifications for society?

Christmas or Haukkana has become distorted. it should be a time of family closness, love and playing together to stay together. The religious aspects for Judism and Christanity focus on a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ who was one of the great teachers for mankind, at least for Christians. Can you see him sitting next to a christmas tree in a sea of torn wrapping paper, plastic bows and a pile of gifts stacked precariously?

Many people prefer Thanksgiving as their favorite Holiday because it focuses on what we are grateful for and appreciate and love. We prepare food with love to share and as we break bread together we focus on each other not on gifts.

On this my 74th Christmas I send warm loving thoughts to you and those you hold dear in your heart dead or alive. Find ways to GIVE some part of yourself--for free--with love.

Here is a big hug and kiss from me to you. Happy and warm wonderful holidays!
Nancy

What Happened to George Hopf? My brickwall! My grandfather.

La Mariposa Press — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 18:37:31 GMT

What Happened to George Frederick Hopf? My brick wall! My grandfather!

I’ve been doing genealogy research for over 12 years. It has been a great adventure meeting long lost relatives, finding relatives I never knew existed and learning the stories of their lives. It was great fun. They told me their stories and I told them mine. I visited the places where they lived, walked the streets where they walked over 100 years ago. I haunted graveyards looking for their burial plots and gravestones. I spent hours in county records offices looking up land records, wills and probate. I spent uncounted hours searching the Internet for records of census, birth, death and marriage and social security records. Many times a name was spelled or copied wrong or the record taker’s handwriting was difficult to read.

I spent a fortune in both time and money copying or sending for original documents. I grew increasingly fascinated with the lives they led against the backdrop of the times.

The stories morphed into a book Lotties Lot. Lottie Jane Walker was my great grandmother. She was born in 1871 in Cresco, Iowa. She married Charles Ira Hastings when she was 18 years old. They were married for 23 years and together raised seven children six daughter and one son. The title of the book Lottie’s Lot refers to her lot of kids and her lot in life. Her second daughter, Iris Hazel, everyone called her Hazel, was my grandmother.

I started the book in the middle, first writing the story of one of my grandmother’s sisters Bethany who died at age 26 from a self-inflicted abortion. She left four children behind. Before I stated my research I never knew Beth existed, let alone her children. My family was expert at keeping secrets. It made my investigations harder but more fun. Beth and her family lived in Alberta, Canada. After I found out about them I called and talked to one of her son’s Lynn who was just three years old when his mother died. That led to a trip and I was privileged to visit and meet three of the Beth’s four children some spouses and children. Cousins and second cousins. I visited places where Lottie lived, where Beth lived and died. It was wonderful.

Then I found out that my biological grandfather was George Frederick Hopf. This was quite a shock because all of my life I believed that my last name was Vardon. My name was Nancy Vardon. I discovered that Hazel married George Hopf on July 25, 1910 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I have their marriage license. My father was born April 5, 1911, his name was George Kenneth Hopf. They moved to Edmonton Alberta, Canada. George was a Seventh day Adventist and his religion and other issues caused conflicts in their marriage. Hazel separated from him and ran away with another man named Anthony Leroy Vardon who was still married to another woman. They went to Detroit in 1915. Because both were married to someone else they had to keep their situation secret. Living together in those days was judged harshly so she arbitrarily changed my fathers name to Kenneth Leroy Vardon.

George in his despair joined the Canadian Army and fought in WW1. He spent three years in France and was a medic. After his discharge in January 1919, he found Hazel in Detroit and wanted his son. They argued more. She finally filed for a divorce and it was granted in her favor September 1920. He was living in Detroit in the 1920 Census. In about 1926 he moved to Washington D.C. He is listed in the city directories from 1926 to 1930, and he is in the 1930 census. Then he disappears. He would have been 50 years old. He was born on January 20, 1880 in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, the second son of George M F Hopf and Caroline. I desperately want to find out what happened to him, when and where he died, where he is buried. If you read this and can help me please send an email to me.

When Mother Nature Fires back

La Mariposa Press — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:33:07 GMT

Nancy O'Connor PhD
http://www.lamariposapress.com

When Mother Nature Fires Back
CATASTROPHIC LOSSES -MOTHER NATURE

The people who lost their homes in the recent California
fires are suffering from multiple catastrophic losses.
These losses are sudden, senseless, unexpected and unjust.
The survivors are left with a special set of problems, and
the mourning period is prolonged, pending legal mandates,
insurance or FEMA assistance. Frequently the anger stage is
extended until financial and legal issues have been
resolved.

Mother Nature

The awesome power of nature can be overwhelming. Human
beings are at the mercy of the natural elements and
activity on our planet: wildfires, tornadoes, earthquakes,
hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, avalanches and volcanic
eruptions claim many lives every year. Sometimes entire
communities have been wiped out due to a natural disaster.
The tsunamis in Southeast Asia in December of 2004 killed
230,000 people in a dozen countries. Many more died later
of hunger, and the recovery effort to rebuild the
survivors’ lives and communities continues. Many
people affected by this natural disaster are still without
critical infrastructure like roads, power, drainage, and
vegetation.

Hurricane Katrina, a category five hurricane, hit New
Orleans and the Gulf Coast in August 2005 with a vengeance,
leaving nearly two thousand dead, thousands more homeless,
and an estimated $84 billion dollars in damage.

The whole country rallied by donating blood and sending
money, clothes, and food to help the relief efforts, but
those who lost loved ones have no one to blame and must
grieve for those who died. Survivors experienced multiple
losses: their homes, clothes, and personal possessions,
many of which are irreplaceable – family photos and
paperwork, for example.

Fortunately, with modern technology we sometimes have
enough forewarning to evacuate, as the dreaded event gets
close. But this is only true of some disasters, and only
possible in developed countries.

These events may also cause sudden, unexpected deaths of
people and pets, and the grieving process must be done
after the fact and after the loss. There will be many
others who have gone through the experience with you, so
you will have a common experience of loss and you may be
able to comfort each other. But for your individual loss,
you will feel your own personal pain, and will need to
grieve and heal yourself in your own way.

The Trauma of Victimization

Initially people are grateful to survive, to be alive and
quickly conclude that what they have lost are just
“things.” When it is an act of nature there is
no one to blame. But it is different if it is proven that
an arsonist set the fire. Then grief will be focused on the
perpetrator of the crime. Relatives of victims suffer too.
The shock leaves everyone in a state of psychological
disruption and disorganization, unable to think clearly or
to make decisions. They will feel overwhelmed and
devastated by the shock their loss and the emotional pain
caused will last for a long time. As they pick through the
ashes they will remember what they can’t replace,
photos, collections, collectibles, art work, keepsakes and
other things that they were attached to. Difficult
decisions will need to be made—about rebuilding or
moving. Financial devastation will be an issue for many who
had no insurance or were underinsured.

They can't understand why this happened to them. It is
senseless. Their lives may be shattered in a variety of
ways. There may be other losses like a pet that
couldn’t be rescued, or perhaps a physical injury is
involved. People often suffer post-traumatic stress after
such losses and seeking counseling is a good thing to do.
Victims will grieve for multiple losses.

If a criminal act is involved then anger will be focused on
the legal system. Victim rights groups believe that
education of the public about how the criminal justice
system works is critical. This can be a long frustrating
process with no compensation at the end of the road, if the
person is indigent. A perpetrator who is arrested may get
out on bail, have his trial delayed for over a year, and
may go through several years of costly appeals before his
final punishment is carried out.

Healing grief is related how many losses suffered and how
you are able to put your life back together. There is no
right or wrong way to grieve, it is a process of emotional
healing and unique to every individual. Such a big loss
will put stress on your relationships. Be patient and
gentle with yourself and with family members.

----------------------------------------------------
This article was written by Nancy O'Connor Ph.D.. She
worked as a Psychotherapist for 23 years and was the
Director of the Grief and Loss Center in Tucson, Arizona
for 12 years . She is the author of the best selling book
Letting Go With Love: The Grieving Process and How to Grow
Up When You're Grown Up: Achieving Balance in Adulthood.
How To Talk To Your Doctor. Her books may be reviewed and
purchased at http://www.lamariposapress.com

Greetings! Welcome to my blog.I would love to hear fom you

La Mariposa Press — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 14:15:09 GMT

Welcome to my blog. I would like to hear from you about healing from healing from the loss of a loved one, unresolved childhood and adult relationships, growing and growing up from the lessons life has shown you. I am a retired psychotherapist and author of self-help books that have helped a lot of people. You can learn more about me and my books on my website www.lamariposapress.com. Please feel free to comment, ask a question or share your story.